These Thoughts of You
by BrickylLove
Summary: (Rickyl) Rick and Daryl. Angst, love, eventual smut. AU due to timeline and plots changes. Daryl always has Rick's back, and there's a telepathic reason.
1. Chapter 1

_**Daryl!**_

Sleeping in his cell, piercing pain split Daryl's head, but he instantly tied up his boots and ran to Rick's desperate call, putting every ounce of energy into his sprint from the cell block and across the prison yard. The other man stood outside the fences, surrounded by walkers. Though Rick slashed his knife, kicking and shoving, he was outnumbered.

Like one possessed, Daryl opened the fence and joined the fray, blood coating his wrists and forearms as he stabbed walker after walker to reach Rick. Finally he did, and as they immediately pressed back to back, the small herd surrounding Rick quickly dropped dead to the ground.

Later, "How did you know I needed help?"

Noncommittal, "Just did."

Rick nodded, "You're a beast."

And he was. Daryl knew it. And though he fought it, he knew he'd been molded from birth for this world. And hated that with every fiber of his being.

...

Rick watched Daryl through heavily-hooded eyes. Sometimes, the hunter was a total mystery to Rick, and even though he could care less about most people's secrets, Daryl was different. How did the man always know when Rick was in trouble?

Sure, Rick had saved Daryl on multiple occasions, but Daryl was always there, at Rick's back. It was like an instinct. No one in Rick's life had ever been so in tune with him.

_It's almost like he can read my mind_, Rick thought, and not for the first time. This suspicion had been with Rick for over a year in the other man's company. Daryl was across the dining area, in an one-sided conversation with Carol. Rick saw Daryl nod a few times, but mainly he listened to Carol.

Early that morning, when Rick had gotten caught by a small herd of walkers, he knew he hadn't called out loud for Daryl, but he'd been screaming the other man's name in his mind. And then Daryl was there.

_Can Daryl read my mind_? He smiled at his own whimsy, watching as Daryl stretched his arms above his head. The impressive muscles bunched and drew Rick's eyes. He'd never been attracted to another man, but Daryl Dixon was the exception. He'd never act on it, mainly because Daryl would probably beat the shit out of him, but also because he couldn't lose Daryl, not over some weird urges. But his curiosity drove him nuts, and every day it became a bit harder not to just grab Daryl and press up against that gorgeous frame. Sometimes when he caught the other man staring, Rick wondered if Daryl also felt the pull, but other times Rick was convinced it was just his imagination that Daryl might want him, too.

Mind reader, huh? Rick's forehead wrinkled in concentration, and he yelled in his mind, **_YOU'RE THE SEXIEST MAN I'VE EVER KNOWN_**.

When Daryl's eyes instantly flicked to Rick's, a shiver went down his spine. Then Daryl quirked an eyebrow, and Rick laughed at himself, and went to bed.

...

Daryl loved everything about Rick, but his particular guilty pleasure was watching the other man walk. That walk had distracted him many a time, and now he let it soothe the fried circuits of his mind.

**_YOU'RE THE SEXIEST MAN I'VE EVER KNOWN!_**

Had Rick really just shouted that at him? What the hell? Had he figured it out?

"Daryl, are you listening?" Carol asked, and as he drug his eyes from Rick and turned to her knowing gaze, he nodded, but his mind echoed with Rick's shout.

"One day you two are going to realize how you feel about each other."

That got his attention and he shook his head adamantly as Carol leaned close and whispered, "Yes, everyone here already knows, even Carl, we're just waiting on you two to figure it out."

"Whatever. Got watch," he dismissed her, and off he went, the press of her eyes tight on his back.

Even if Rick were into him in that way, which he wasn't, Rick only thought he was, Daryl would never cross that line. Rick deserved so much better than he'd ever be able to give. His life's goal was now to protect and provide for the group, especially Rick, and if that meant protecting Rick from himself, then so be it.

He'd fallen in love with Rick so fast, almost instantly. In Atlanta after they'd found Merle's hand, when Rick's thoughts had broken through his barriers, when he'd been about to take off through the city searching for Merle, and _Calm him down, he's a bit wild, but I like him_, had resounded so clearly in Daryl's head straight from Rick's mind. That's when he'd known.

And he had calmed, instantly, "I can do that."

His momma had warned him, as often as she was sober, to fall in love with a good woman. She's spent hours when he was a boy, teaching him how to block the thoughts of others, the crazy press of a thousand random thoughts that filtered though and threatened to rip his young mind to shreds.

His momma had loved his daddy, but once the old man realized she could read his mind, his daddy had snapped, beating her anytime she so much as hinted that she knew what he was thinking.

"Be careful who you give your heart to," his momma's voice whispered in his memory.

Daryl didn't remember if his dad had ever beaten him before he overheard Daryl's momma instructing Daryl on how to block his thoughts, but the beatings came often after that. What his daddy didn't understand was that his and Merle's thoughts were the ones Daryl blocked the hardest.

There was no worry Daryl would fall in love since he stayed away from women entirely. How could he have known a ZA would happen, he'd meet a sheriff's deputy, and fall in love with another man?

...

Rick laid in his bunk, staring at nothing. Earlier, when he'd shouted in his mind and Daryl had appeared to hear him, he'd shaken away the thought, but now he wondered again. Hundreds of times the other man had been there, right at Rick's back, the second Rick had needed him the most.

Beyond the constant protection was the friendship. When Lori had died, when the guilt of unsaid words had almost ripped Rick's world apart, Daryl had stepped up, caring for both Judith and Carl, taking over Rick's responsibilities so Rick could grieve. Any guilty thought Rick had about his own selfishness saw his behavior being corrected by Daryl, who always seemed to do what Rick couldn't. When Rick had started farming, and unofficially stepped down as the leader, Daryl always seemed to know exactly what Rick needed. Unlike others who thought Rick should get his shit together, Daryl had urged him to stay behind the prison's fences, urged him to stay safe.

And there was that one time, when Rick had awakened from a horrible nightmare about Lori to find Daryl kneeling by his bunk, stroking the hair back from Rick's forehead. It was somehow so natural to have Daryl there that Rick had grabbed the other man in a hug and sobbed into his neck. After a while of Daryl awkwardly patting his back, Rick had fallen back to sleep. The next morning, Daryl acted like it hadn't happened, so Rick followed suit. But damn the memory of being in Daryl's arms haunted him.

_Fuck it_, Rick thought, climbing out of his bunk to put on his boots. _I'll just fucking ask Daryl._

...

Growing up beside train tracks had given Daryl his earliest block to other people. The constant sound of a train's gears pumping along worked well to keep other's thought from his head. His mother's training kept a constant loop of that thump sound running in the back of his mind. The sound was the first thought he had every morning, and constant background noise throughout his days. But Rick, Rick's thoughts were different, like Daryl had no barriers whatsoever. So Daryl had created a personal block for Rick, a piercing train whistle. Loud and shocking, it much harder to keep constant. In general, Daryl let Rick's thoughts stay whirling in the back of his mind, simple stuff about planting, traps, weeding, safety, manure, the kids. That stuff Daryl could handle, and more so, he loved hearing it. It was only when Rick's thoughts turned to Daryl that he summoned the train whistle. Loud and piercing, the whistle was usually capable of dispersing the other man's thoughts.

_Rick will never love you for you_, he told himself, staring out of the tower's windows. Rick would hate having his thoughts known, just like Daryl's daddy had hated it. And who wouldn't hate that? Daryl was a realist, and he'd rather feel the longing angst of unrequited love than see the hatred that had formed his father's eyes.

"Once he loved me," his mother's voice whispered in his mind.

_Fuck it_, Rick thought from inside the cell block, and since Daryl could feel the thought was about him, he blasted a train whistle through his mind. Go to fucking sleep, Rick. Please.

...

Rick climbed the tower steps, he wasn't necessarily trying to be quiet, but as Daryl's eyes met his, he knew he'd snuck up on the other man. Not a mind reader, obviously. Rick felt foolish at the questioning look on Daryl's face.

"Couldn't sleep," Rick finally said a bit awkwardly, "thought you might want some company."

Daryl just grunted, so Rick moved next to him, leaning on the guard rail and staring into the night. The silence between them was weighted, and each struggled to find a topic before finally giving up and just enjoying the companionable silence.

Rick concentrated on Daryl's breaths, the inhale and exhale. There was something so erotic about matching his own breaths to the other man's.

_I love you, Daryl Dixon_, he thought and watched as a shudder went through Daryl's frame. Rick eyed the other man, tilting his head quizzically,_ I love you like a fire underneath my skin._

Daryl shoved away from the rail, backing into the tower, "Don't want no company tonight. Go back to bed, Rick."

But never let it be said that Rick Grimes wasn't a beast himself when focused. He followed Daryl into the tower, _Can I kiss you? That's all, nothing else. Just a kiss?_

...

Daryl turned his back to Rick and grasped his head in his hands. His skull felt like it might split in two, as Rick's thoughts rolled right over the volume of the train whistle.

Rick stood right behind him, close enough to touch, _What if I licked that bare patch of_ _skin right there on your neck? I bet you'd taste good Daryl._

"Stop it, Rick."

_Kiss me and I'll stop_.

Daryl spun to face him and Rick's thoughts went blessedly silent.

...

Rick silenced his mind, not on purpose, but because all of him now thrummed with anticipation, with sheer desire. He'd experimented and now knew the hunter could hear him somehow. Could hear his damn thoughts! It was now up to Daryl, who licked his lips and drew Rick's gaze.

...

The only sound in the tower was the harshness of their breath and the distant moan of walkers at the fence. Daryl wanted to yell at him, scream any hateful thing to get the other man to leave, and he opened his mouth to spew venom, but Rick's eyes were glowing in the moonlight and then he licked his lips, saying aloud, "Please Daryl."

"You don't want me, Rick, I'm damaged, completely fucked up. You'll end up hating me, " Daryl's voice was huskier than usual, and even he could hear the pain in his words.

"It's just a kiss," Rick whispered back, leaning in close, "just a simple kiss."

"No, it's not, Rick, nothing will ever be simple about you," he whispered back, and then Rick's lips touched his and he lost his own train of thought, and for the first time in his life, Daryl heard nothing but silence and Rick's stray thought about how good he thought Daryl tasted.

They both moaned, and their tongues met in a dance as old as time. Hot, wet, and stroking, their tongues intertwined. Daryl's hands buried in Rick's hair as Rick pulled Daryl flush to him, the fronts of their bodies seeming to fit perfectly.

_God I love you, Daryl_ thrummed down Daryl's spine and fear exploded inside him as he shoved Rick away, sending the other man into the tower's wall. Without the quiet perfection of Rick's mind, thoughts from the prison, mainly dream images, saturated his senses and he grabbed his head, pulling at his hair as he fought to find the train's gears.

Rick reached for him, but Daryl slapped his hand away, "Get the fuck away from me, Rick! I mean it. Never touch me again. I don't want you like that."

Rick stood eyeing him for a minute, before slowly nodding his head. He turned to climb down the tower ladder and sent this thought to Daryl, _I love you, and when you're ready, you know where to find me. _


	2. Chapter 2

Physically avoiding Rick took some finesse, but Daryl managed over the next two days. Rick's thoughts, well, those were not so easy to avoid.

There were hundreds of reasons why Daryl loved the woods, but the silence was a big one. Maybe it was the trees creating a natural mental block, or the physical distance from other humans, but in the woods, Daryl could allow the train's gears to slip into the background, barely humming at the back of his mind.

Similar to what happened when Rick kissed him, but nothing compared to that deep stillness of Rick's mind, of being connected to just Rick, and the exclusion of the rest of the world. The bliss of silence he'd found in Rick's arms could quickly become addictive and even though Daryl couldn't allow himself that, damn, he wanted to explore that feeling as much as he did the passion.

"Be careful who you give your heart to," his momma's memory reminded him. Like Daryl had a choice in the matter.

Over the last two years, he and Rick had touched rarely, an occasional pat on the shoulder or back, a hand up from the ground, and that one night after Rick's nightmare when he hugged Daryl, but Daryl had always kept his blocks in place. He hadn't realized that a focused Rick could just barrel right over that train whistle. And when their lips had touched... before that moment, Daryl couldn't have even imagined such silence existed. If his mother had ever mentioned this aspect of finding his mate, he couldn't remember it.

The group had often joked that he and Rick could read each other's minds based on how fluidly they could communicate with hand signals and expressions. Truthfully, Rick was the most intuitive person Daryl had ever met.

So Daryl had managed to avoid Rick's physical presence, but not his thoughts. Rick's thoughts, coated as they were with the thick undertone of desire, formed an erotica so far outside of anything Daryl had ever experienced. The loving warmth that animated from Rick stuttered Daryl's heart. Both of his thumbnails were raw and bloody from his constant chewing. Daryl had barely eaten or slept for the past 2 days.

This morning. _Hey gorgeous_, snuck into his waking mind, _I'm still wondering about that patch of skin on your neck. _

Then last night, as Daryl had been on watch. _You might think you don't want this, but you_ _kissed me back, and I want to hear you moan again. _

It was driving him nuts. Being in such a constant state of arousal was taking up too much of Daryl's thoughts, and early this morning, he'd had to deal with Michonne's gleeful laughter as she managed to sneak up on him, again, for the second day in a row.

"You've got it bad, Dixon," she'd joked, but Daryl just grunted and walked away.

Around noon, he went to the dining area for some food. He was starving and even knowing Rick was there, bouncing Judith on his knee and speaking in baby speak, couldn't stop the growling of his stomach. Fuck it, he couldn't ignore the other man forever.

_There you are_, was fairly easy to ignore. Beth fixed Daryl a bowl, beaming a smile, and he forced himself to be human and thank her. Sitting as far from Rick as possible, Daryl dug into his soup.

From across the dining room, _lick that spoon again, please_. Daryl swallowed wrong, choked, and began coughing harshly. Hershel immediately pounded him on the back. When he regained his breath, he saw Rick hand Judith to Carol and walk off into the cell block. Just before he disappeared from sight, he turned and met Daryl's eyes, _please_ _come talk to me. I'll make it worth your while_. The other man's eyes were lit from within, a fire burning in Rick, and Daryl finally just gave the fuck up. Maybe he could beat some sense into that damn man.

Daryl tossed down his spoon and picked up his bowl, putting it to his lips and gulping down the entire bowl.

"Go on," Hershel said quietly, "I've got your dishes."

Daryl met the old man's kindly blue eyes, grunted, and took off after Rick.

He wasn't hard to find, waiting as he was in the broiler room, his presence drawing Daryl like a moth to a flame. As Daryl stormed into the room, ready to take out his frustration with some well-place punches to Rick's stomach, the other man grinned._ Finally, Daryl, I_ _can't wait anymore_.

Daryl slammed Rick into the wall, and stuck his forearm across Rick's throat, "You have to fucking stop."

Rick grinned, "Why?"

"Look, I know you seem to think this is funny right now, but it's not."

"It's a little funny," Rick said, his gaze focused on Daryl's mouth, _And insanely arousing_. _Kiss me_.

"Stop it, Rick."

_I want to taste you_.

Daryl groaned and hung his head. Rick was trying to kill him. The intimacy of Rick's mind, the love and desire that was wrapped around the other man's every thought made Daryl weak in the knees. It was a losing battle and one he finally admitted wanted to lose.

...

Rick knew he was pushing the issue, but the last two days had been the most extreme test of his willpower he'd ever experienced. He'd been almost useless, completely distracted, walking around in a daze, having to ask people to repeat their questions, discovering himself hoeing the same spot.

And now, with Daryl panting in front of him, the other man so freaking alive in a way Rick had never seen him, anger and desire pumping from his skin, Rick knew he'd won. And it was the sweetest victory of his life as Rick reached and cupped the side of Daryl's face in his hand. Daryl went completely still, and his eyes, as they focused on Rick, contained such a depth of peace that Rick lost his breath.

Daryl Dixon was his. This magic was his.

**_Author's Note: Please review! I get amazing inspiration from reviews._** :)


	3. Chapter 3

Daryl lost his breath. The silence in his mind was enormous, and he pressed his face into Rick's hand for several bliss-filled moments. As he finally looked up and met Rick's eyes, it was like falling into perfection. He'd spent his entire life in chaos, his mind never his own. Even when he blocked others, his mind was full of sound.

Now, there was only Rick. Rick's love, his amusement, his desire. His quiet acceptance. Rick's blessed silence. Daryl wondered briefly if this feeling, this oneness, was the reason his momma always reached for his father, even with a broken arm or bloody, bruised face. If this peace was enough to put up with anything the peace giver wanted to dish out. _Be careful who you love._

_Can I take this chance?_ Questions about his mother and father faded away, her warnings barely echoing, and the hope that seemed to encompass his soul met its mate in Rick's blue eyes. Though Rick's desire was obvious, he didn't move, didn't push in any way. Instead, Rick seemed to check his own needs, _Whatever you need from me, Daryl_.

Honesty. Daryl needed, no he craved, utter honesty, and his voice broke as he whispered, "I'm really scared."

Rick stroked his thumb over Daryl's cheekbone, "Why?"

"It's a long story," Daryl sighed.

"Judith's with Carol and neither of us have watch for another 6 hours. There's time for a long story."

That was true, but talking was about the last thing Daryl wanted to do.

Daryl exhaled as Rick inhaled, their blue eyes locked. Rick leaned forward slightly and pressed their foreheads together, _I love you_.

_I love you too, Rick._

A shiver went through Rick, and he blinked rapidly, _so you can send thoughts too?_

"What?" Daryl gasped aloud.

_I heard you just now. You said you loved me._

"What the fuck? In your head?"

_Yep. You sent it to me. I heard you_.

_What about now? Can ya hear me now?_ Daryl yelled.

"Yes now," Rick said aloud, his face grimacing in pain, "loud and clear. I don't think you have to shout for me to hear you, though."

Daryl's knees went weak, he couldn't comprehend what was happening, Rick could fucking **hear** him. Rick caught him around the waist, anchoring Daryl to him.

"Let's sit," Rick suggested, and they slid slowly to the ground, side by side on the cold concrete. Rick put his arm around Daryl's shoulders as Daryl buried his face against Rick's throat.

"It's okay," Rick assured him, "I've been feeling so crazed that this is good. Just you and me. It's all going to be okay. We'll figure it out. Everything's okay..." He continued to whisper this soothing nonsense as Daryl hid against his neck, refusing to think about anything except the peace animating from Rick.

Minutes passed liked this before Daryl became aware of how uncomfortable the cold concrete was. His ass was frozen.

"Let's go to my cell," Rick suggested, "let's just lay in my bunk and talk. I brought you down here because I wanted to ... Be with you again, kiss you, devour you, but now that I know you love me too, I can wait."

_I should warn ya to get the fuck away from me. This probably won't end well at all,_ Daryl thought.

_Or it could end perfectly_, Rick's voice sounded in his mind,_ it could end exactly how we both want it to._

Daryl pulled his face from Rick's neck and met the other man's eyes, "You're going to hate me one day."

And Rick, with a stoic face, replied. "Don't ever fucking try to tell me what I feel."

Daryl couldn't hold the intensity of Rick's eyes and he looked away, but he nodded and when Rick suddenly stood and held out his hand, Daryl grasped it like a life line.  
>...<p>

As they walked to his cell, Rick attempted to tug his hand from Daryl's, but the hunter refused to let go. _Does my touch help you?_

"God yes," Daryl whispered, "You shut it all out."

_Well okay then_. And, of course, it seemed like the entire prison population managed to see them, hand in hand. Glenn whistled, a huge grin splitting his face. Michonne turned to Beth and they high-fived. Carl hugged Hershel and the sound of happy laughter echoed throughout the cell block. Rick had never been one for public displays of affection, it made him uncomfortable when he saw others doing it, but this was their family, and everyone appeared happy for them, so he just shook his head and grinned back at them. His silent partner, on the other hand, had his head tucked and appeared miserable.

They entered Rick's cell, and Rick pulled the curtain, blocking them from prying eyes. There was little privacy in the prison, and past the curtain, happy sounding people could be heard, especially Michonne and Glenn, though Rick thought he heard Carol say, "Hell yeah!"

Rick shook his head again and pulled Daryl down beside him on his bunk. Daryl's chin was still tucked, so Rick nudged him. The pain in Daryl's eyes stole Rick's breath, "What's wrong?"

"Merle always said I was gay. Don't that bother you, that everybody knows?"

"No. I think they knew before we did. Look, I've never been with a man and neither have you. I don't think this is about some old timey gender stuff. We'll figure this out, though. I promise you we will," Rick responded softly, "we'll figure it out together. I sort of think it's nice that they are happy for us. Even Carl seems happy."

_Hey, look at me_, Rick demanded when Daryl turned his head away, _it's a freaking apocalypse out those fences. Nobody cares about that shit any more._

"That's not it, I mean, it is a little, but people have never thought good about me anyway," Daryl said as Rick tugged him backwards, pulling the other man into his arms. The bunk was not made for two grown men, but with Daryl on half-sprawled on Rick's chest, they managed.

Rick had so many questions he wanted answered, but he held his tongue. All he'd thought about for the last two days was kissing Daryl again, but his lust had subsided some in the face of Daryl's fear. At first Rick had believed the fear stemmed from Daryl's aversion to feeling this way about another man, but now he knew the fear had a deep pocket in Daryl's ability.

"I don't know where to start," Daryl whispered.

Rick stroked his hand through the other man's hair. He kept the touch affectionate, and ignored the raging hard-on he'd carried around for the last 2 days. This was what Daryl needed, and damn if Rick wouldn't give it to him.

"Start with this first thing that pops in your head," Rick suggested, but after several minutes of Daryl starting to speak and then stopping, Rick asked, "So you read minds?"

"I can, but I don't. I don't ever pry. It's too hard anyway 'cause once ya open to one, ya hear 'em all. And people think some crazy stuff that I don't want to know. My momma taught me how to block them when I was a boy. I've been blocking my whole life, well except now..." Daryl's voice trailed away, indecision clear in his voice.

"Me?" Rick asked, and his heart pounded as Daryl lifted his head and met Rick's eyes, so much love in his blue gaze.

"You're the only exception."

**Author's note: Please review if you want more! I love hearing your thoughts. Daryl's got a bit more to work through before Rickyl truly happens. Please be patient, like Rick. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

"So you don't want to hear me, but you do?" Rick asked Daryl.

This was a hard question because he didn't want to hear Rick, but then he did. Like the other morning, when Rick called to him, if Daryl hadn't "heard" it, Rick wouldn't be laying underneath Daryl right now. But if he had to hear anyone, Rick's calm mind was a damn good one.

"Don't have a choice. You break through my blocks."

At Rick's questioning look. Daryl explained about the train's gears and then the whistle he used for Rick.

"Why am I special?" Rick softly asked.

Such an enormous question, and Daryl's words seemed to bunch up in his throat, "Momma said... be careful who you give your heart to. She left out a lot, a whole lot I see now, or maybe I just don't remember her telling me this stuff, but I think you can't block the one you love."

"But you love others besides me, you love Carol and Hershel..."

"Momma said mate. Your heart's mate," and the words choked in his throat, "and her mate hated she could hear him, hated her, beat and broke her..."

...

_I'll never be able to hate you, Daryl, and I'd never hurt you_, Rick thought, and added, "I told you not to tell me how to feel."

Daryl's head lifted, and seeing the wetness trapped in his lashes, Rick gently stroked away the tears, "I'm a simple man, Daryl, I don't think about much complicated stuff, but you already know that. I don't mind that you're in my head. I like knowing you know me better than anyone and love me despite it."

Daryl's lips quirked, "You're not hard to love."

"Oh I'm hard all right," Rick said, gesturing down his body, "send me a thought. I want to hear you again."

"That's one of those things my momma didn't tell me," Daryl whispered as he maneuvered himself more on top of Rick, pressing his hips into Rick's hard on.

Rick gasped, _damn that feels good_.

_You like that_? Daryl pressed down again, and then leaned to place his lips on Rick's, _kiss me. _

And Rick did. Despite his passion, he wanted to taste Daryl, play with that gorgeous mouth, so the kiss was slow and exploring.

_Damn you taste good_, they thought at the same time, and the sweet curl of intimacy twined around them like a warm blanket. It was a heady sensation, so far outside of anything in Rick's experience. Having Daryl in his mind and against his body was intoxicating.

Rick thrust his tongue a bit deeper, as Daryl thought, _like that, just like that, that's so good_, as he rocked his hips against Rick's, who wrapped one arm around Daryl's waist and used the other hand to grasp Daryl's ass.

Belt buckles and jeans were in the way, but neither cared to stop long enough to get more comfortable. Their arousal hit a fever pitch and they moaned, both coming at the exact same time.

_I love you, Rick_

_I love you, too_

They continued to kiss long after they came, and slowly, Daryl's hips began rocking again.

_Whoa_, Rick grabbed the other man at the waist,_ let's take this to the shower._

"Give me a minute," Daryl said as they stood up, his hands still grasping at the mental safety that was Rick, "I can't having you walking around holding my hand all the time. How would I shoot the bow?"

But Rick studied Daryl's face as he broke contact and backed away. It was almost instant, that studied look of concentrated pain that reappeared. It wasn't an expression, it was a tightening around Daryl's eyes, a thinning of his lips, the forward jut of his jaw. It was apparent what the block cost Daryl, every day of his life.

_Fuck it_, Rick thought, grabbing the other man into a hug,_ it's not like you need to shoot a crossbow right now. Take the next few hours off. Rest your mind with me._

As he pulled back to look at Daryl's face, a slow smile bloomed. Damn but the other man looked so much younger with his mind free, _you're gorgeous_.

"Stop," Daryl said, but he held onto Rick as Rick gathered some clean clothes and a towel.

_Look, we don't have to hold hands, just keep a hand on me somewhere. We'll just walk together,_ Rick thought.

_How about here_? Daryl moved his hand to Rick's ass.

Rick laughed, _yeah because that would make them stare less than holding hands like teenagers._

...

That moment when Daryl stepped away from Rick was a fight, his mind didn't want to create train gears anymore. Whereas the sound had been a welcome one that Daryl gladly sought over the years, now it was hated. What a relief to have Rick wrap his arms around him and silence it all.

As they stopped in Daryl's cell to gather some clothes, _I fucking hate trains_, he sent to Rick.

"Why do you use that sound? Have you tried any others?"

"Never thought about changing it up," the idea was both scary and liberating, and Daryl looked back at Rick. It felt so amazing to have finally shared this secret with someone, to share his burden. He'd never been able to imagine anyone acting in anyway other than his father had.

"Well, why not a comforting sound? Like the ocean," Rick suggested.

"Never heard the ocean, never left Georgia," it was hard for Daryl to concentrate on anything with the way Rick's hand was stroking over his back.

"How about a heavy rainfall?"

"Maybe. I'll try it sometime. Damn sure sick of trains," Daryl grabbed clean clothes and turned to Rick.

"This is amazing," he whispered and grinned.

_God you turn me on_, Rick quickly kissed him, _come on, let's go clean up._

As they walked out of Daryl's cell, Beth, with Judith settled on her hip, grinned at them. Other than those two, the cell block seemed deserted.

"Everyone's in the dining area. Thought you two might want some privacy. Don't worry, I'm your lookout," she nodded at their extra clothing, "Enjoy your showers."

She spun to walk off as Rick called out a thank you. The men met eyes, the shared blue on fire, and Daryl struggled to keep a hand on Rick as they ran to the showers.

...

Rick started stripping the second they entered the showers, and as he was naked quickly, he turned to watch Daryl.

_Don't look at me_, came the peevish thought and Rick looked away, moving to turn on the shower. Runs had supplied the prison with plentiful amounts of soaps and shampoos, but somehow all of it seemed made for women. Rick grabbed a bar of soap, doing his best not to look at Daryl, and started lathering up.

Then Daryl's hand touched his shoulder, _I can't stand not touching you, you don't understand. I know I should be able to, I mean, I always have before. _

Rick, in his excitement for whatever was going to happen, hadn't even thought about the fact that he'd let go of Daryl for a minute there. _I'm sorry. This is a bit new to me_.

'_S okay. I'm fine. This is new to me too. Hand me the soap._

Rick handed the bar over, and Daryl started slicking it over Rick's back, massaging as he went. It was so relaxing that Rick hung his head into the water spray. Daryl's hands worked down his arms and over his chest, then back up to wash Rick's hair. That sensation had Rick swaying on his feet, and Daryl wrapped an arm tightly around his waist and pressed the wet, naked length of his body into Rick's. The press of bare skin made them both moan.

_Oh my God_, and just like that, Rick was hard again. Daryl's other hand reached down and grabbed Rick's dick, _oh my God, Daryl, that feels amazing_.

_Just washing you up,_ the thought was husky and teasing. Rick shivered as Daryl began soaping his dick and balls, though he was really doing more playing that cleaning. Then he spun Rick around, and bent, palming and soaping Rick's butt and thighs.

At first Rick just grasped Daryl's shoulders, the pleasure made him dizzy, but then Daryl stroked between his legs, from his balls to the top of his ass, no one had ever touched him there, and he completely lost his sense of balance, _I'm gonna fall._

_I've got you_, Daryl's voice in his head, adding to the seduction of Daryl's hands on his skin, _I've always got you, Rick_. Then he gently washed the soap away.

Rick took the soap as they faced one another, slowly lifting his eyes to Daryl's, _can I look at you now_?

_Body's all messed up. Never liked people looking at me._

_You are perfect, and I'm not people. I'm your heart mate and everything you've lived through has made you the man I love_.

_You're so gay_, Daryl sent and Rick laughed out loud, quickly soaping his hands. He maneuvered Daryl under the spray, _tell me what you're feeling_.

_That your hands feel incredible_, Daryl sent as Rick soaped his chest, _that you're trying_ _really hard not to think 'bout all those scars and where they came from and I appreciate it, I do. But right now I want to toss you on the concrete and do things to you_.

_Like what_? Rick was trying really hard not to think of the scars. The long thin ones that had to be from a knife, the circles of puckered flesh that had to have come from cigarette burns, so many scars like a roadmap across Daryl's flesh. The pain Daryl must have experienced took Rick's breath and he didn't even think about it before imagining rain, a heavy downpour.

Daryl jerked, _you trying to block me_? He grabbed the soap from Rick and stepped away, quickly soaping himself as that pained look pinched his features. _Why you doing that, Rick?_

There was so much pain in the question, and as Daryl turned his back to Rick, Rick added some thunder and lightning to his mental imaging. Daryl's back was worse than his chest, and Rick's heart swelled with the pity that he knew Daryl would hate. Rick took several deep, calming breaths and forced himself to let the thoughts of Daryl's abuse, the picture of the abused boy he'd once been, float away. Instead he focused on the gorgeousness of Daryl's frame, the broad shoulders that tapered down to Daryl's small waist, the lean muscles that flowed across his back, and the flexing beauty of his arms.

When Rick's arousal was back at a fever pitch from just looking at Daryl, he let the storm in his mind melt away, and thought, _I'll kill any son of a bitch who ever lays a finger on you, Daryl. I'll fucking kill them. Every gorgeous inch of you is mine. _


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: please review and favorite if you like this story. It inspires me**.

No one had ever been protective of Daryl, well maybe his mother when she'd been sober, but no one in his life had ever made him _feel_ protected. There was no doubt that Rick meant every word. The grown man that Daryl was now wanted to dismiss this comfort, he'd always taken care of his own damn self, but the boy in him, the hurt, unloved little boy, fell in deeper in love with Rick.

Rick shut off the shower, grabbed Daryl's hand and tugged him over to the bench. Grabbing his towel, Rick began to dry Daryl, first his hair and then his body. Rick's thoughts were focused on getting him dry, on taking good care of him, until Rick bent down to dry his legs. As he stroked the towel up Daryl's thighs, his thoughts focused on Daryl's dick, the size, and how exactly to give a man head.

Daryl's eyes widened and he watched/listened in fascination as Rick stared at him, thinking out the mechanics.

_Can't get it all in my mouth, damn he's big, though Lori used to do that thing with her throat, so I guess could try that. Hmmm, maybe use my hand at the base and suck the top part? Sort of work it toward my mouth? And no teeth, gotta open wide. Hmmm. Fuck it, I'm just gonna go for it_.

_Oh my god, Rick_, Daryl sent, shivering with the erotica of Rick's thoughts. He was rock hard with anticipation, of course he'd fantasized about what Rick's mouth would feel like, but he'd never imagined this would actually happen.

_Just really want to do this and do it right. If it's done right, it'll feel amazing. _

_Never felt it before so I probably wouldn't know if you did it wrong_.

Rick glanced up and shot Daryl a grin, _that's true_, and then grabbed Daryl's dick by the base. His hand felt amazing and Daryl gasped, but then Rick pushed Daryl to sit on the bench, dropped to his knees, and experimentally pumped Daryl a few times. Pleasure saturated Daryl's senses and he braced his hands on Rick's shoulders.

_I'm gonna come_, Daryl was panting again, and the sound echoed in the showers, but he'd never felt anything like this.

_Not until you let me do this_, Rick thought, staring down at Daryl's swollen flesh. Then he slowly settled his mouth on Daryl. The wet warmth made Daryl groan, and a part of him tried to hold back, as the other part just wanted to come and come now.

_It's interesting. You feel like silk on my tongue. And hard as hell. _

Then Rick started swirling around his tongue around, finding sensitive spots Daryl didn't even know existed, as he pumped Daryl in and out of his mouth. The pleasure was too intense and Daryl quickly lost it, coming harder than he knew was possible, the pleasure flooding his body and making him see stars.

_Yeah, I think I did that pretty good_, Rick's satisfied thought came through the haze of Daryl's pleasure, and Daryl laughed, a joyful sound that made Rick smile.

_Yeah, I'd say so. That was amazing_.

Rick stood, grinning, so damn handsome, and he held onto Daryl's shoulder and attempted to dry his mostly-dry body with one hand. After several steadying breaths, Daryl grabbed the towel, _let me_.

...

Rick really did want to tell Daryl it wasn't necessary to reciprocate just yet, but then Daryl's hand was stroking Rick's cock with the towel, and he lost the words.

_I want to. I want you to feel that, too._

_Your mouth_, came Rick's command, and Daryl didn't hesitate, tossing the towel and mimicking what Rick had just done, and Rick twined his hands in Daryl's damp hair, _hot_ _as hell, so wet_, fucking roughly into the other man's mouth. Daryl choked, and Rick stopped his movements.

_I'm sorry, it just feels so good_.

_I like it,_ Daryl assured him, _do it again_.

So Rick did, his eyes never leaving that mouth, his dick easily sliding down the tightness of Daryl's open throat. The pleasure mixed with the feeling of dominance, of taking Daryl as his, tightened Rick's balls and he came deep in Daryl's throat, shuddering at how good it felt.

As Rick slowly pulled out, Daryl's eyes were downcast, and Rick instantly felt contrite.

"Hey Daryl, look at me," but the other man shook his head and jerked up, reaching to grab his clothes from the bench. Rick grabbed his arm, but Daryl shook him off.

"Hey, please don't shut me out. Tell me what's wrong," Rick implored, "did I hurt you, did you you hate it? We don't have to do that anymore."

"I could hear you," Daryl whispered so softly Rick almost didn't catch the response. Daryl turned his back, quickly pulling on a tshirt and pants.

"Yeah, I know, did I think something bad?"

"You want to dominate me?"

Rick didn't know how to respond. It was the first time since he knew Daryl could hear his thoughts that Rick felt uncomfortable with it.

"Daryl," he started, holding out his hands, "It's sexual, like I want you to be mine, and..."

"And you want to hurt me?" Daryl still wouldn't look at him.

Rick sighed, "I didn't mean in a bad way, I didn't mean hurt you like you've been hurt in the past, I meant it sexually, like make you feel me. Shit, I don't know how to explain it right."

_It turned me on. Something's wrong with me._

Rick blinked rapidly, and relief shivered down his spine. _Oh no it's not. Being dominate and submissive in sex is common, Daryl. It's natural. I want you to dominate me too. The idea turns me on_.

_I feel stupid. I don't know so much._

_You're not stupid._

_I wonder why you love me._

Rick had enough. Still naked, he threw himself at Daryl, wrapping his arms tightly around Daryl's waist and burying his face into the scarred skin of Daryl's back.

_I said I love you. Don't ever fucking question that_.


	6. Chapter 6

When Daryl opened his eyes, two things consumed his mind, and the first was Rick stretched down the length of his body, snuggled naked into Daryl's back. They were sleeping on their sides, and Rick's bunk was barely big enough for both of them. Rick's face was buried in Daryl's hair, and his arm was slung loosely around Daryl's waist.

He'd never slept with another person, never wanted to, never even imagined it would be possible, but it felt so perfect to be next to Rick.

The second thing was the silence in his mind. Rick's sleeping brain felt like pure warmth, and no thoughts stirred. It was heaven, and Daryl wanted to spend the rest of his life right here, next to a sleeping Rick. Well, not really, he loved Rick's awake mind, but damn this felt good.

The day before had been the best day of Daryl's life. He knew people thought he was hardened, but they didn't know that his greatest desire was acceptance, was peace. Rick's love changed everything. And damn, the sex had blown his mind. Just thinking about Rick's mouth... he wanted more. He wanted it all.

It wasn't long after they left the showers when Maggie came yelling into the cell block about walkers at the fence. Even though Rick had stepped away from walker-killing, he'd been the first one at the fence, stabbing walker after walker. Daryl knew Rick hated it, knew that Rick would have been happy just to farm for the rest of his life, and it pissed Daryl off that this world wouldn't allow Rick that peace. Everyone had been elated to see him on the fence line. Whether Rick liked it or not, he was their leader, and most would follow him to the gates of hell if he asked. The fury in Rick's thoughts when he stabbed the first few walkers kept Daryl's eyes trained on him, but then the fury had morphed into determined resignation, and Daryl had nodded and focused on his own fence cleaning.

It had taken hours to take out the herd and drag off the dead. Afterwards, he and Rick had eaten a quick meal and gone back to Rick's cell. Exhaustion had settled in, and both had stripped and then collapsed into sleep. The best, most restful sleep of Daryl's life.

The silence in Daryl's mind now was so peaceful, but it was also a little weird, and Daryl's morning arousal was too close to Rick's hand. The hard press of Rick's dick was against Daryl's butt. He wondered to himself what it would feel like to have Rick slide into him, how bad it would hurt, and if Rick would even want to do that.

He wanted to wake Rick up, so he took Rick's hand and brought it to his mouth, sucking Rick's finger as he pressed his ass back against Rick.

_Mmmmmmm_, came the slowly wakening thought, and Rick pressed back against his ass as Daryl swirled his tongue around Rick's finger.

_Good morning to you, too, damn you feel goo_d, and Daryl smiled at the sleepy happiness in Rick's thought.

_Do you want to do that to me, go inside me_? Daryl sent, pressing back into Rick's hardness.

_Well, yeah, I hadn't really thought that far. I don't know, seems like that would hurt._

_I'd think so, but men do it all the time and they seem to like it. Maybe we would too?_

_Maybe. I think we'd have to use lubricant, but I guess we could try it. I've never did that with Lori, I mean, she made it clear from the beginning that she wasn't interested, and she's the only woman I was ever with. _

_Did you like sex with her?_ Daryl knew his tone was jealous, and Rick briefly thought the same, though he seemed amused, and even a little pleased.

_Yes, we had a couple of good years, but after that she made it seem like a chore. Or some grand gift she'd grant me that I'd have to pay for afterwards_, Rick kissed his neck, _I never felt anything like this, though_.

_I'm so fucking glad. I know it's not right of me to feel that way, her being the kids' mom and all. I can't help it._

Rick continued to rock his hips, _Don't want to talk about Lori, I mean I'll always miss her, but mainly for the kids' sake. Our marriage was over long before I let it go._

_Yeah, I figured that._

Rick's inner voice grew seductive, _I've never loved anyone like I love you. You're my everything._

_You're so gay_, Daryl teased, and pressed his ass harder into Rick, _that you turned me gay._

_I've never looked at another man. I think this is all your fault, 'cause you're so gorgeous_.

"Stop," Daryl said aloud, but he grinned, cheeks bright red, as he turned to face Rick.

As Daryl maneuvered flat on his back, Rick worked to move on top on him. There was no fucking space on the tiny mattress, and both were laughing by the time they rearranged themselves. Once the fronts of their bodies were flush, both sighed, _feels so good, damn good_, and their lips met in soft, searching kisses.

_This is amazing_, Daryl sent, and Rick grinned into their kiss, rocking his hips against Daryl. _I'm going to suck you off again_...

"Dad?" Carl's voice came from behind the curtain.

_Well shit_, Rick thought before answering, "Yeah Carl?"

"Can I come in?"

Daryl groaned softly, _Tell him hell no_, but he jumped up and grabbed his pants as Rick pulled the blanket over his own naked body, "Just a second, son."

Rick waited until Daryl's shirt and boots were on. Daryl's hair stood crazily at all angles, and with the slight look of panic on his face, Rick couldn't help but grin again, _so_ _adorable, comb your fingers through your hair, you look like you've been having wild sex_, and he grinned larger as Daryl blushed and hastily started patting at his hair. His efforts only made it look worse, "Come on in, Carl."

As Carl walked in, holding a cooing Judith on his hip, his eyes were downcast, but seeing a fully dressed Daryl standing there relaxed his posture.

"Judy and I wanted you to come eat breakfast with us."

"Sure thing," Rick replied, "just let me get dressed."

Judith was reaching for Daryl, and Rick watched Daryl take the baby and hold her high in the air. His features didn't seem as pinched with the tiny girl in his arms. She laughed at Daryl and the whole scene tugged at Rick's heart. His children, his lover... his whole world was right in front of him.

"There are more walkers at the fence," Carl told them and Rick's good mood partially melted away.

"Do we need to go now or can it wait until after we grab a bite to eat?" Rick wasn't really too worried, if there was a pile up of the undead like last night, someone would have already fetched him and Daryl.

"Breakfast first," Carl said.

"I'm'a go check the fence," Daryl said and Rick nodded. Carl took the baby, and Daryl paused at the cell door, looking back at Rick, _see you later_.

"Wait, I wanted all us to eat together. The 4 of us," Carl added, smiling up at Daryl, who nodded curtly, and Rick could tell he was nervous.

_He seems fine with this_, Rick thought, _quit worrying_. Judy was squirming to get back to Daryl, "If ya'll will excuse me?" Rick gestured to the curtain.

...

Only a few people were in the dining area and Rick was glad because he could see Daryl withdrawing some. Now knowing what caused that pinched look to cross his face, Rick wanted to wrap his arms around him, and it took effort not to.

_M'okay. Been doing this all my life. Not saying it's not nice to be next to you, but I can handle it. _

_I know you can, but now that I know I can help, it's all I want to do._

They sat together, the four of them, Daryl bouncing Judy on his knee. As far as Rick could tell, everyone seemed okay with him and Daryl, not that it would've mattered if anyone had a problem, but the warm smiles were nice, nonetheless.

_S'nice_, came from Daryl and Rick grinned at him,_ it's gonna take some getting used to, always having you in my head._

Daryl tucked his chin, _if I could stop it, I would, Rick. That feeling you just had is why my daddy hated my momma._

_Look at me_, Rick told him and when Daryl didn't, Rick repeated it softer. Daryl finally did, peering at Rick through lashes under a curtain of long bangs, _I am not your father_.

Daryl nodded curtly, as Carl asked, "How do you guys do that?"

Nervously, Rick sent his son a questioning look, thinking Carl might be about to question their sex life, when Carl said, "Have those long conversations with just your eyes?"

"We just know each other very well," Rick told Carl, and then he winked at Daryl, who grinned back, _yes we do._

Carol walked up, "Judy's going to need more formula soon and Glenn's found a couple of daycares about 20 miles west of here."

"I'll go on a run after we get the fence clear," Daryl volunteered, and Rick instantly crushed the worry that appeared in his thoughts, not wanting the other man to think Rick believed Daryl wasn't capable, but Daryl heard, and quirked an eyebrow, "Really?" he asked out loud.

_I'll worry about you if I fucking want to_, Rick's eyes went hard.

_Don't need nobody worrying 'bout me. Can take care of myself_, Daryl glared back at him.

_Of course you can. But having someone worry about you is part of being loved_, Rick told him.

Daryl's eyes softened, _Well okay then_.

_Well, okay then_, Rick smiled and Daryl smiled back. Carl and Carol, who'd been looking back and forth between the two, watching this silent conversation, and smiled at one another. It didn't take a mind reader to know they shared the same thought. These two men completed one another.


End file.
